So this has nothing to do with being a dad

My other job, which is managing a telemarketing office (please hold all boos untill the end.) gave me something interesting to take away my few reamining iq points. I have an individual who works for me and he is a whiner. He is in his late fifties and takes every oppotunity to try to lie and rat out his fellow employees. For the past few weeks i know he was smoking in the Men's room. I do not have a problem with cigarrette breaks and i do not believe i have ever denied one. I also do not mind bathroom breaks either, having mostly male employees in their fifties means most people are up at least once an hour. What does bother me is smoking in the bathroom for no good reason. There are signs quite clear to the fact no smoking is allowed and other people use this building and it sucks for the non smoking people. The office is on the second floor and the men's room is on the first floor, you actually pass the doors to go outside and have a smoke. You have to walk more to get into the bathroom.
On thursday Mutt X ( mens room smoker) was pissed at Mutt Y for various reasons. I took him outside to talk and let him know everything was OK. Then Mutt X ( sneaky smoker) tells me that Mutt Y told him, " Don't tell anyone, but i smoked a cigarette in the men's room."

This makes my head split. Literally there was at least 3 of me at this point.
ME #1.......Fire him right now.
ME#2 ....... I can't believe this ************** is trying to get me pissed at someone else for his BS.

ME #3....(this is the newer version) I still can't believe this, but calm down and let's have fun with it.

I went with #3 and decided to go on a little tirade about what an idiot Mutt Y (non smoking men's room guy) for smoking in the men's room. I went all out...using everything i could think of to call this person horrible things. I love when an opportunity happens where you can tell someone off to their face and have them agreeing with you or adding how stupid their own behavior is and them really not understanding you are actually talking about them. He even added , "How stupid can you be? The sign even says 'This is a non smoking building'" then added his catch phrase, "What is wrong with these people?"

I went on to explain how i was unable to really say anything, because without catching anyone it always breaks down to the "He said, He said" type of crap which only gets people angry at each other rather than solve the problem. Which might still go on, even worse if they are out to get someone else into trouble. I could foresee someone smoking a cigarette just to blame on someone else.

On Friday approx. 6:25 pm Mutt X goes to the men's room. I know he's going to smoke a cigarette in there and i will have to catch him and be all stupid. I wait for a minute or 2 and ask everybody else if they are smoking in the bathroom. The answer all came back "no". For all of their faults they usually come clean without any problems. So now i go downstairs to catch Mutt X.

Now, you can hear the doors closing upstairs in the building while you are in the men's room, i expect this might cause him to lock the door or put his cigarette out. I go downstairs and think he's locked the door or he might be in the stall and still try and blame someone else. What would i do then? How could he even do that without making my head explode?

I grabbed to door knob and went into the room trying to startle him a little bit.

He was standing in front of the mirror ashing into the sink. When i came in he acted as though he was a 14 year old kid and i was the high school principal. I was just so sickened by the stupidity. That hurts my head so bad. Why the next day? why not 2 - 3 days from now? why in front of the mirror? why? why? ouch.